Menu 1

For the Luxury Lover

My outfit: A chic cocktail dress or impeccably fitted trouser suit, tailored jumpsuit or another stylish and sophisticated outfit. I may run some ideas past you first. High heels and killer lingerie underneath are mandatory of course. Nice handbag, beautiful diamond jewellery, Hermes fragrance.

We shall eat: At one of the cities many quality fine dining restaurants. A gastronomic experience with charming company is the injection of glamour, luxury and lust you’ve been craving. Shall we go for the tasting menu? Then back to the hotel for some bubbles (and a hands on inspection of that killer lingerie).

Benefits: Have you ever had your **** ****** by a woman with lips perfectly painted in red Chanel lipstick? I think not! Some well deserved decadence: More is more! 🥂

Menu 2

For the Leisure Lover

My outfit: Impossibly tight jeans, a flirty top and heels, or perhaps a cosy knitted dress and knee high boots (underwear is very much optional), otherwise maybe my signature leather pants (such a threat to public health that they’ve been banned by the EU). Enjoy a moment of sensual escapism with flirtatious, feminine company.

We shall eat: At one of the cities many quality small plates restaurants. Maybe a busy tapas bar, a rustic and romantic little Italian, or trendy Japanese restaurant where I will send you a naughty photo from the bathroom then order a lychee martini and you will be a gentleman and let me eat the last piece of sashimi 😇

Benefits: Watching me wiggle through the restaurant in leather pants without grabbing my bum (I wouldn’t mind) is almost as frustrating as trying to get me out of them. Who doesn’t love a well packaged dessert?

Menu 3

For the Lounge Lover

My Outfit: A bath robe and nothing else. I arrived in nothing but a full length coat and heels so I thought I’d continue the trend. Perhaps some handcuffs if the mood takes us.

We shall eat: In the room, as we are having a lazy and luxurious day so can’t be bothered to venture outside. Our luxury nudist camp is a much more comfortable proposition. You mustn’t forget my order as it isn’t at all complicated (chicken Caesar salad although ideally with prawns instead, with the dressing on the side, olive oil, black pepper and chilli flakes if they’ve got them and also glass of rosé Champagne. And a fruit plate or chocolate fondant depending on how I feel so probably best to order both. Hope you can remember all that 😂)

Benefits: A bubble bath is the perfect way to unwind whilst we wait for our food to arrive. I’m very good at massages – how about you? We’ve decided to watch a film together but of course you’ve fallen asleep shortly after the opening scene. It’s a good job I’m a morning person: a sleepover then breakfast in bed? Why not!